


stay

by Anonymous



Series: - i.n. [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: I'm losing him, Jeremy suddenly realizes.Or: They're childhood friends.
Relationships: Sykkuno/Jeremy Wang
Series: - i.n. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043526
Comments: 9
Kudos: 191
Collections: Anonymous





	stay

_I'm losing him_ , Jeremy suddenly realizes.

He's losing Sykkuno—Sykkuno and his smiles, his bell-chiming laughter, his shy glances up at Jeremy when things were normal and he hadn't realized the boy owning his heart was just a second from disappearing. 

It was too much—too much on his mind, too much on his anxious, vulnerable being to see it—see Sykkuno walk away from him like that, sad and done and _leaving—_

_No_ , Jeremy thinks, rushing forward and grabbing Sykkuno by the shoulder. He only hears the startled intake from Sykkuno before he has him up against the wall, caged in with Jeremy's arms and glaring but—but he's here, he's in his arms, he's _staying_. 

Sykkuno looks up at him, their faces only inches apart, those dark eyes boring into his own with an intensity Jeremy hasn't seen before, has never been graced with—and maybe that's what breaks him. The fact that for all the years he's known Sykkuno, for all the times they've walked through life together, it's when Sykkuno's finding others to rely on and Jeremy isn't holding him back—isn't _hurting him_ —does Sykkuno show a piece of him he was too stupid to realize he wanted. 

"Jeremy—"

"Toast," he cuts in, hurting and bitter and desperately clinging onto the only thing in his life he knows is worth fighting for. He meets Sykkuno's eyes, watches them flicker with something, for once, he can't read. A gut wrenching pain twists in his gut. “What, you can't—can't even call me Toast anymore?" 

_You can't even call me by the name you liked to use so much?_

Sykkuno stays silent, watching as Jeremy feels a million shards stab at him physically. "I don't know—" He stops, letting out a shaky breath, his gaze moving to look at anything but him. "I don't know what you want me to say, Toast."

"Tell me you'll stay," Jeremy begs into the quiet room around them. Sykkuno still doesn't meet his eyes. "Sykkuno, _please_ —"

That's seemingly what gets him. He's swinging to glare at Jeremy in a second, brows furrowed and anger burning heatedly. "Don't make me promise you that." The slightest of tremble hitches onto his words in the last second. "Don't make me promise to stay with you when you're the one always going ahead of me."

"Is that what he does for you? Is Corpse the one who waits? Does he give you what you want when I couldn't?" Jeremy fires one after the other, words spilling out of his mouth before he even thinks. 

_Is he what's making you happy when I failed?_

Confusion and hurt splashes across Sykkuno's expression. "Why—What does Corpse have anything to do with—"

"You love him, don't you? He's—He won't break you or hurt you or—or he's not a fuck up like I am and—"

"I loved _you!_ "

Everything stops. The blood rushing through his ears, the anxiety crawling up his spine, the fear and hurt and desperation—it stops. 

Because Sykkuno's looking at him, tears brightening his brown eyes as they catch onto his lashes and cheeks flushed red and—

And Jeremy thinks he stopped breathing, because he loves him, _loved_ him, he—he's the most beautiful thing Jeremy's ever seen. 

Slowly, his body no longer his own—Jeremy moves in closer. Sykkuno backs up against the wall even more, but he doesn't—he doesn't stop him. Not even when he's leaning in, their foreheads nearly touching and the distance between them nothing more than an inch of space. 

"You loved me," he repeats faintly, barely above a murmur in the following silence. 

Sykkuno's shoulders fall, just a little, his hands pressed against his own chest as if to protect himself—like the world was against him and Jeremy stands as one of the barriers. 

He attempts to compose himself, knowing he's failed when he blurts out, "And do you still?" 

He waits—waits, wait, and wait, fearing for the worst when Sykkuno doesn't answer, eyes hidden from him as he looks down, waiting waiting waiting, until—

"Yes," Sykkuno admits softly, laughing quietly in anything but humor. "Jesus. I do, don't I? No matter how hard I'm trying, I still—" His voice catches. Sykkuno’s head drops onto Jeremy's shoulder and he could feel the tears seep into his sweater. Another laugh tumbles out of him. "I'm still hung up on you, Toast."

"God," Jeremy breathes. "Sykkuno."

There's so much he wants to say—of the promises and chances and future. 

But here, in this moment, as Sykkuno's hands rise to clutch at him _—_ they stay. 

**Author's Note:**

> [\- i.n.](https://twitter.com/inonwriting)


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